Doorways...

As we journey through life, we begin to learn that changes are a natural part of our experiences. As we come to different crossroads, we are able to make decisions on the direction of our path, choosing the doors we wish to open or close. Other times it seems that we are suddenly thrust into a new direction without much choice, and as a rapid change occurs, it can leave us feeling anxious and even powerless as we stand at the threshold of a new doorway, entering into the unknown.

There is another way to look at change as we enter into new and unknown areas of our lives, whether at home, at work, or in our relationships… When we find ourselves in the midst of sudden change, and we are unsure of the direction we are traveling towards, we can take time to acknowledge this change and to validate our experience of it. For some that might mean grieving, or finding ways to express our anxious, or even angered feelings. This can be a natural reaction to a change that was not anticipated or welcomed. Taking the time to honor our feelings is the first step towards empowering ourselves as we pass through the threshold of unwanted change. The following are some ideas to honor and eventually celebrate changes, turning what once seemed negative into a positive and healthy experience that will empower us in the present, while still honoring the past.

Write down your feelings, all of them, uncensored! I call this “Rage Writing” (Remember, there are no ‘bad’ feelings) Allow yourself to acknowledge them (which is the same as honoring them) then you can begin to transform these feelings. You can then burn, or cut, or simply throw away your piece of paper, or put it in a designated box that honors your connection to your spirit (one lady used the term God Box). Most craft stores sell adorable boxes for just a $1.00 (I have one that says “Make A Wish” ). This will allow you to turn your feelings over to a higher power for loving transformation. Recently I had to go through this type of transition, and so I took a couple of objects that were painfully associated with the situation, acknowledged my pain and anger, and then placed them inside of my son’s old Mr. Sunshine, pajama case, (I happened to keep it for some reason, even though he’s a teenager now in the form of a smiling, orange sun, which always made me feel warm and safe when I looked at it. Once I placed the objects inside, for ‘loving transformation’ and a good dose of Sunshine, (along with meditation and nature therapy) the shift in my perspective, and therefore my circumstances, was very quick to happen. The important thing is, finding ways to be ‘in healing’ that are powerful for ‘YOU’.

 

Another idea might be to use an imagery technique: Find somewhere quiet to sit and close your eyes. Breathing through your nose, connect with the rhythm of your breath, placing your hand on your abdomen, feeling it rise and fall as you breath. Now begin to imagine yourself by a gently flowing stream, perhaps in a meadow, or woodland, or mountain. Begin to notice the details of where you are – are there birds singing? Can you smell the grass? Can you see the blue of the sky, or feel the sun against your skin? Let your imagination play. Imagine all of these sensations, until finally you begin to sense/feel/hear the sounds of being in nature and water flowing down the stream. Allow this sensation to calm you… Now, taking some kind of container (a leaf, a basket, etc.) and imagine yourself putting all of your cares, your uncertainties, your worries inside the container… (And you can use more than one, over, and over if you choose to, or little by little). Having placed these feelings inside the container, imagine placing the container in the stream… allowing the gentle current to carry your container along the stream. Watch it (and all your stressors) as it gently moves along the water, slowly disappearing… knowing it will be carried out to a river, and eventually into the ocean where it will flow into the vastness of the sea. You can also envision the ocean as symbolic of some form of connectedness with a higher power if you choose, or a transformative, transcendent Source, that all your stressors/circumstances/etc., will dissolve into – clearing the way for you to move forward.

 

Also, if you have had to leave ‘someone’ or ‘something’ behind as you’ve entered through this doorway (or perhaps you feel as though you have been left behind, and the door got slammed shut! : ( , find a way to honor or celebrate your relationship to this person or circumstance in your life. Perhaps a memory book (or page, if a book is too much ), or creating a collage with memorabilia – whatever helps you feel as though you are validating your experience of the person and or circumstance. You can even invent a farewell ceremony of some sorts, or it can be as simple as lighting a candle. Yes – you can still honor your anger, and your loss as well.

 

The important thing is to use these tools to transform, and to stir the waters within, rather than allowing them to become stagnant and breeding toxicity. It’s not the pain, fear, sadness, or anger that’s ‘negative’, it’s the getting ‘stuck’ (i.e. when we swallow, or stuff, or ignore our feelings) that causes the damage.

Mostly, be gentle and patient with yourself and your feelings as you move through these types of changes. Sometimes we just have to allow ourselves, and life, to be ‘Perfectly Imperfect’.

As you move through this process, and when you are ready, find and connect with the powerful place within you that knows we are not separate from our experiences, or their creation. By owning our part in our circumstances, we become empowered vs. dis-empowered. I don’t mean go to the other extreme of ‘self-blaming’, but rather being able to observe that we write our life stories. The good news is, with this perspective, we can now re-write our story. IMAGINE!

If you’d like to hear Mayling talk on a series of holistic topics go to: http://beyondtheordinary.net/mayling.shtml to listen free of charge just scroll down her guest page to her guest spot and simply click on the “Listen Now” speaker box for whichever show you choose.

Article 2007 written by Mayling, RN, HN-BC Board Certified Holistic Nurse, Executive Director for Holistic Education & Program Development, Brightest Blessings Creations, Network Leader for the American Holistic Nurses Association, and President of The Center for Nursing Advocacy, Los Angeles Chapter. Permission to use article is granted only with notification, and use of author name, title, and reference to www.BrightestBlessingsCreations.com. For permission email: Ask@BrightestBlessingsCreations.com

<Prev

 

 

top